IELTS9PRO Winner of Intro 67 Competition, Free Essay Assessment and Band 9.0 Sample Essay.

As I mentioned before, every week, we will select an intro and invite the author to write a full essay for a free review on the channel. This is the winner for this week, for the anti-social activities topic. I also include my own band 9.0 essay sample to illustrate the points I make in the vid. I hope you like it, and if you want to try your luck you can find us on Telegram at IELTS9PRO. See sample essay below the vid…

Some people think that only society should be blamed for any anti-social activities. What are the cause for these activities? Who is responsible for them?

Some people think that only the society should be blamed for any anti-social activities. What are the causes for these activities? Who is responsible for them?

According to some, the blame for any kind of anti-social activities should be laid at society and only at society. In my view, the causes for such problems, crime, social unrest, etc, are poverty and inequality of opportunity, and that the government, not society in general, are responsible.

There are some issues such as minor acts of vandalism, and low level crime usually carried out by youths, which have been dubbed “anti-social” such as graffiti, smashing of windows, stealing cars, etc. I believe that the lack of money, caused by unemployment, and a lack of opportunities, education chances, etc, are the roots of these social problems. It can be seen in the inner cities around the world that such activities only occur in the disadvantaged areas of the community, for example, never in the richer more upmarket parts of a town or city.

Far from “society” being responsible for the causes of these actions, it is in fact the government who should be held accountable. For it is they alone who set policies, vote on laws, and allow entrenched groups in society to profit while others falter. The wider community or society has no such power to affect people’s lives as does the state, so cannot be considered culpable. For example, in the UK in the 1980’s to reduce inflation the Conservative government closed mines and factories and put millions out of work. This was not “society” but deliberate state policy.

In conclusion, instead of blaming “society” as being the cause of anti-social activities, in my view, the guilty party is the government of whatever country these problems emerge in. The wider community has no power to affect the lives and livelihoods of many young people, leaving them poor, and with no hope for the future.

296 words.