Hello and welcome, in this video I am responding to a student inquiry about how to use “Complex” sentences in his task 2 essays. He thought he wasn’t using them correctly, and he was right, but not in the way he meant. If you watch the video you will see how and why his sentences needed to change.
For your information, I will post the essays below (with the student’s kind permission) and if you have any questions, feel free to write to the usual address: email@example.com.
Discussion essay with opinion
Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.
Over the last few decades, many conservatives have advocated that women’s participation in societies should be restricted to look after both the house and children as these two activities require a lot of time and dedication. However, in my opinion, females should be provided with the same opportunities that men have in the business world due to their innate skills to multitask. This essay will discuss both views and examine a number of studies before coming to a reasonable conclusion.
On the one hand, an overwhelming number of sociological experts , whose main field of expertise is analyzing how children are affected by the introduction of women to the workforce, acknowledge how essential is the role that women play in taking care of the children and the house. This is largely because women not only watch over their children and clean the house, but they also help young ones with their academic difficulties by helping them with homework; what is more, by keeping a clean house they protect their families from getting health issues. For example, a recent quantitative study carried out by the National Child Measurement Programme revealed statistics showing that if mothers dedicate completely to the house and children, their descendants have better academic results in high school and they are less prone to get sick.
On the other hand, a vast number of business specialist s, who mainly work in recruitment processes, concur that women are valuable assets in different industries due to their ability for multitasking. This is because, although both male and female workers have similar attitudes, skills and knowledge, women certainly excel at multitasking; as they are better at swtiching rapidly between tasks and juggling priorities. For instance, a new BioMed Central psychology study showed that women had had better results in computer test, which involved switching between tasks involving counting and shape-recognition.
To conclude, it should be clear that there are reasons for and against the aforementioned views. Nevertheless, from my perspective, women should not be excluded to work and excel in their careers if they decide to be part of the workforce.
Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.
To what extent do you agree?
Empirical research has shown that some individuals think that social media websites like Facebook and Instagram can have detrimental effects on people and societies. I strongly agree with this notion, and I will also argue that stress-related problems can be triggered due to comparing oneself to others and face-to face interactions have been diminished since the advent of social networking.
To begin with, an overwhelming number of psychological specialists, who have been studying the impact of technology in people’s lives, acknowledge how Facebook and Instagram can easily provoke depression. This is largely because, although the main purpose of these websites is to share pictures and ideas, many teenagers experience anxiety, loneliness, and tension when they compare themselves to others in terms of being more popular or having more money. For example, a recent quantitative Cambridge study revealed statistics showing that 5 million youngsters had been diagnosed with depression in 2014 due to spending too much time in social media. Since the use of these technological novelties can have serious affects in teenagers’ state of mind, it is therefore clear that their usage should be limited among young people.
Secondly, a vas number of sociological specialists, whose main field of research involved analizing social interactions in modern’day societies, concur that the advent of social networking sites have been shrinking face-to-face social interactions. This is because mose poeple not only use these websites to complement their social lives, but they are also relying completely in them to find their sentimental partners; consequently, they stop going out to restaurants and bars, where tradicional personal interactions are made. For instance, a new study carried out by Baltimore University showed that if people spend more than ten hours per week in social networking sites, they reduce their likelihood to go out in 50%.
To conclude, there is undeniable evidence that shows the negative effects of social networking sites in people’s lives. Given the strength of this proof, the general usage of these sites should be carefully monitored by experts.
Direct question essay
Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness.
Do you think people can be happy without much money?
What other factors contribute towards happiness?
Empirical research has shown that many individuals consider financial success the main factor in achieving an enjoyable life. In my opinion, having money is not always a synonym of happiness as many people find enjoyment through helping the less fortunate and other aspects such as the culture, beliefs , and traditions play an imperative role to define happiness as well.
To begin with, an overwhelming number of psychological experts, whose main field of expertise is studying the human behavior in modern society, acknowledge how having money is not always the norm to be happy as priests and missioners find happiness through spirituality. This is largely because, although amassing big fortunes can make people’s lives easier and more enjoyable at the beginning, after covering their basic needs for awhile, the sensation of being happy is reduced considerably. For example, a recent quantitative study carried out by BioMed Central psychology revealed statistics showing that both priest and missioners had scored high levels of contentment during a happiness test in 2014. Since money does not determine being happy, it is therefore important to dissociate it from feelings of enjoyment.
Secondly, a vast number of sociological specialists, who principally work in remote rural communities, concur that aspects such as the culture , beliefs and traditions determine what can be considered as living an enjoyable life. This is because, in many cultures around the world, having a large extended family not only is considered a blessing, but it also makes its members very happy; as children can have more friends to play with and adults can have more mental and economic support from their relatives. For instance, a new Cambridge study showed that if extended families are composed of more than fifty members in Asian countries, their relatives have more enjoyable lives.
To conclude, from my view, money is not imperative to achieve happiness, which can be found through spirituality as well as having large extended families like in some Asian nations. If more people strived in live towards true happiness rather than money, the world would be a better place.